Last week, Joseph turned three. And then three days later, my sister’s son Louie turned five. Consequently, we had three days packed with cake and jelly and boundless excitement. A theme park, a party and a whole lot of presents. Because Paul was away and it was a nursery day, we celebrated Joseph’s birthday a... Continue Reading →

I’ve been feeling quite down about my sister Rachel’s situation lately. We had some amazing, rapid progress a few weeks ago, when she started to speak and to eat. I have a messaging group with her close friends and there was a time when it seemed that every day, someone had witnessed her doing something... Continue Reading →

I can’t know for sure that my sixth chemo was the last one I’ll ever have. I’ve come across too many women lately who’ve been through this more than once to take anything for granted. But it’s the final one for now; a door gently closed. Because Elodie had been projectile vomiting on and off... Continue Reading →

The night before my fifth chemo, Elodie put in her best night’s sleep in weeks. And of course, Joseph somehow got wind of this and gave us his worst. At 3am, I woke up to find him sitting on the floor at the foot of our bed. ‘What are you doing?’ I asked. ‘I’m just... Continue Reading →

To my son and my daughter, I am going to do everything I can to overcome this cancer and spend the next forty or fifty years with you. To this end, I am having poison pumped into my body that steals my energy and my hair. I am having parts of my body cut off... Continue Reading →

It’s not all bad, having cancer. It’s mostly bad, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it, but I have been absolutely flabbergasted by some of the things that have happened since my diagnosis. And it’s about time I took a break from the sad stuff and talked about it. I already knew that my family were... Continue Reading →

There’s no doubt about it; the chemo sessions are getting tougher. Before the cold cap is fitted each time, one of the nurses covers my hair in conditioner. I remember being told at the first session that I shouldn’t use my favourite conditioner for this as I might never want to use it again. By... Continue Reading →

At some point, when I wasn’t paying attention, what was happening in our lives stopped being a crisis and became our new normality. Because, however surreal and awful things are, life creeps in. There are trips to the supermarket and potty-training disasters and playdates. Everyone has to be fed and have their teeth cleaned and... Continue Reading →

A couple of weeks passed. Things were a mess and we were just about coping. Each day, there were logistics to deal with. Who was visiting Rachel in hospital? Who was looking after the babies? Who was taking the older boys to nursery and picking them up? Friends (mine, Rachel’s and my parents’) had descended,... Continue Reading →

In my last post, I detailed the day of my sister Rachel’s stroke. What I didn’t explain is that, for many years, my sister has neatly doubled up as my best friend. She’s the older one, so I’ve never lived without her (and I never wish to). But we weren’t always close. As teenagers, we... Continue Reading →